The Bachelor...in Mike's eyes

"That tan girl is hella hot"...about Melissa in the hottub.
"Her voice is annoying at sh!t"...about Jillian when she was crying about being strong.
"That crazy looking mom has really nice t!ts"...about Stephanie in her rose ceremony dress
"That girl's voice is as annoying as sh!t too"...about Naomi at the rose ceremony
"Oh wait, here's the best part...now it is time for the final rose...dipsh!t"...about the host at the rose ceremony.
"Ohhhh man...see...he let go of crazytown. She is going to lose it."...about Stephanie

Aren't those completely appropriate comments?! However, they are all true!