Random April Thoughts

How is tomorrow May 1st?  Ohhhhh, May...it has always been my favorite month because it is my birthday month.  But now, it is the month of Ethan's birth, which is much more exciting and important.

-We have been planning Ethan's 1st birthday party.  It is a carnival/circus theme and I'm having fun getting ready.  Thank goodness for Pintrest...I really don't know what I would do without it.  Here is an inspiration picture:

-My buddy took his first steps last Thursday.  Then about 10 minutes later, he said "ball", as clear as day.  Now, we have balls everywhere throughout the house so we can hear him say "ball, ball, ball" all of the time.  It is absolutely adorable and so incredibly exciting.  This is the ball that started it all:

-I've decided to stop getting down on myself about my weight.  I'm focusing on the 5K that I have been training for and will be running on May 12th.  I'm on week 8 and this week will be running 27 minutes without stopping.  I'm going to continue to try to make good choices with food and hopefully it will translate to a weight loss.  I've lost a total of 7 pounds and I'm now only 4 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I'm down a pants size and only have 1 more size until my "regular size".  I'll get there...I know it.  My goal is to lose another 10 by the end of summer.

-Motherhood is the most incredible journey.  The love a mother has for her child is indescribable and it is a feeling that can be overwhelming at times.  Watching Ethan grow each day has been such a joy and I feel so lucky to be able to experience it.  Nothing makes you appreciate your life more than looking down into those beautiful, brown eyes.  I just love him so much. 

-I only have 18 days of school left until summer.  To say that I'm excited is an understatement.  I can't wait to be a "stay at home mom" for 10 whole weeks with my little buddy.  I can't wait to take him to the pool!  I can't wait to bring lunch and have picnics with Daddy.  I can't wait to take him to parks and music festivals and outdoor concerts.  Most of all, I can't wait to relax and enjoy our days together.

-We are going to start house hunting.  Honestly, it is a bit heartbreaking.  We LOVE our location right now.  Our area has a "small town" feel where we are able to walk to local shops and restaurants, parks, and the pool.  But we have outgrown our little house and need more space.  We live in an expensive area and larger houses are out of our budget.  I also can't stand all of the traffic and driving back and forth from work.  We are going to start looking in the area where both of our parents live and is near my work.  It is sad but we are also excited about "moving on up".  I swear, I'm on Zillow and Realtor.com all day!

-May is an exciting month with Mother's Day, Ethan's birthday, last day of school, my birthday, fun parties with friends, and an amazing trip with Mike.  Bring it on, May!

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Thanks

Thanks everyone for your support, suggestions, motivation, and advice. You ladies are really amazing and it was so great to hear from you all.

Obviously, I am not alone with my issues with food, body image, weight, and being healthy. I hate it. I really, really do. I've been working my butt of this week and it's another week of losing NOTHING on the scale. I just don't get it.

I know I need to be doing something different. Maybe working out smarter, and not harder. This week, I ran 4 days (Friday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday) and did Zumba class (Monday, Wednesday). NOTHING.

I probably need to join a gym. I need to get a trainer. I need professional help. But right now, I really don't have the time or energy. I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends. My baby is almost 1 (and of course isn't sleeping at all due to teething) and super fun to be with, work is crazy as we try to wrap up the year (only 6 more weeks!), and I feel like the weekends are full with errands and to-do lists.

I'm not just sitting on my butt eating bonbons. But I know my diet needs to be improved. I know that I need to track my food consistently. All of these things, I KNOW. Excuses, excuses....I know that too.

I'm not a complete failure at losing weight. I've lost 7 pounds since the first week of February. But 7 pounds isn't enough for me right now. I'm still 5 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm still wearing my maternity skinny jeans. I've been "trying" for 12 weeks now. My goal at the beginning was 1.5-2 pounds a week. That would put me at -24 instead of this measly, little -7

I'm training for a 5K on May 12 so I've been doing c25K. I track my food on Loseit.com. We have a Zumba instructor teach classes at work after school. I do weights and abs at home. I've done Weight Watchers many times before and have been moderately successful there (at most, I lost 10 pounds a couple of years ago). A bunch of friends at work are losing A LOT at Title One Boxing. Unfortunately, they don't have late classes and don't have a childcare area for Ethan.

I just want to hit that -10 pound mark before school is over. I would think that I could get to -3 more pounds in the next 6 weeks. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it!

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