Thoughts as a SSAHM

The major perk of being a teacher is summer vacation.  You work your butt off for 9.5 months and then get to enjoy summer break.  Now, not all teachers take a summer break.  Before Ethan, I would teach summer school and load my schedule with summer workshops and trainings.  But not this summer, my friends.  I decided to spend the entire summer home with my son and let me tell you, it has been incredible.

I can't believe that I am halfway finished with my break.  {tear}  5 weeks down and 5 weeks to go.  I wasn't so sure how I would do as a SSAHM (summer stay at home mom) but I love everything about it.  Ethan is so good and so much fun and we are having a blast together.

Don't get me wrong, I know that staying at home with kids is hard.  But from MY experience with MY son, it is a piece of cake.  Being a stay at home mom is a million times easier than being a working mom (TO ME).  Ethan is on a great schedule which allows me to plan out our day in the morning (depending on when he wakes up).  I get to workout during his morning nap!  I get to prep dinner and shower during his afternoon nap!  It's amazing! 

So many things are possible by being home!  Errands and grocery shopping during the day.  Fun outings at the pool or splash pads.  Play dates.  Cleaning and picking up around the house.  Laundry and sunning Ethan's diapers.  I could go on an on.  ILOVETHISSOMUCH!  Being a working mom is REALLY hard.  Balancing yourself and your job and your home and your child and your schedule and your marriage and your friends.  It's hard.  Ugh...and the driving and the jam packed weekends.  It seems almost hard to breathe at times.

I've been thinking a lot about if being a SAHM is right for me.  I know I'm probably a minority when I say that I didn't really like the newborn stage.  Maternity leave was hard for me...especially the first 4-6 weeks.  No PPD or anything...I was just dying for Mike to get home in the evenings so I could get a break (or a shower).  Not going to lie, I was ready to get back to work when the school year started.  But once Ethan hit 6 months, I wanted to be home with him.  And now, he is at such a great age and I feel like we are able to do so many fun things together.  I am teaching him a lot and I know that he wouldn't learn these things at our in-home babysitter (who is wonderful, BTW). 

BUT...I am not ready to give up my career.  I love where I work.  I love my adult relationships at work.  I love being able to financially contribute to my family and be able to live the life that we live without having to budget for anything/everything.  I love knowing that I'm putting my education (bachelor's and master's degrees) to work.  I love knowing that I'm doing a job that helps our society and makes a difference in others lives. But I love being with my child all day. 

I think the perfect balance would be to stay home for a couple/few years after we have 2 or 3 kids.  (I know that the ease of staying home with just Ethan won't be so when there are more children involved.)  Then I could go back to work when all of the kids are in school.  (Working part-time isn't an option as a teacher in my district or something I would be interested in doing.)  I can't really imagine being at home in an empty house all day when I can be working with kids and earning money for our family.  Only time will tell what will be right for us and our family.

But until then, I'm loving this summer and my time with my Ethan.